.mylucky23.

this is my december, so does the song say. l love everything about december. its really "my time of the year". sometimes, i love the month too much that it makes me sad to realize how uneventful it turns out to be. just when you thought that everything will be magical and all that, you only find yourself waiting in vain for even a flicker of an unasumming falling star. but i still love december even if it means having to grow a year older, much more it means having to work your asses during christmas and new year's eve. sometimes, we love some things for no rhyme or reason. trust me, i should know all that.

so now that december just unfolded itself a few days ago, i just cant help but feel amused by the fact that my favorite time of the year is here to stay, maybe only for a while, but enough to let me feel that from this day forward, everyday will be my day.

i will be turning 23 eleven days from now. and i dont even want to elaborate on how time snatches away the minutes of my life half the time. because of the fact that the idea is already getting old and sad and repulsive. maybe a change of mode is necessary. maybe this time, just a shift from the status quo, i should be excited about getting old. well, yeah, i am trying to be excited. they say twenty three is a lucky number so i want to see for myself if magic will still take a chance on me. sometimes we all need excitement, we all need something to look forward to, because there's just no other way to go. sometimes, we need a deliberate "leap of faith" - that we dont even have to wait for it to inspire us, we do it intentionally to go through life . so, for a change, i am excited on my upcoming 23rd year!

i cant tell for sure why but i'm becoming too hopeful lately. its ironic but i'm becoming used to the prices i pay when i oversleep, more so when i deprive myself of sleeping. not to mention that i am also able to control my terminal disease of homesickness. maybe because i daydream too much lately or maybe because i've revived my supposedly bad habit of self-talking. trust me, they work. they may be baby footsteps to insanity but they do magic in personal growth. haha.

or maybe, because thai massage really does magic that it even influences a better view with life! haha. but that's another story. i really enjoyed, or was amused, by the thai massage that creck, qevz, and i tried last week. it was soo funny and humiliating all the same. i wasnt able to help myself, hysterical laughter got in the way, time and again. i just couldnt control myself from laughing. every inch of my body got tickled because every joint and nerve endings are overly sensitive - that i only discovered last week. the massage was the best laugh i had this month.



lucky 23, im counting on that. this is supposed to be my beginner's luck, because i am never lucky. i mess up most of the time, i cant even win a cheap teddy bear in a lousy arcade game. so i want to have a change of phase this time on my 23rd year. i want to win big on my 23rd year, whichever and whatever, it doesnt matter. well, nothing should be impossible, right? remember paulo coelho's luminary quote in the alchemist? "if you really want something, all the universe will conspire to help you achieve it." just like the cosmic proportion that happened last night when two bright stars (which were said to be venus and jupiter) above the inverted quarter moon formed an amusing celestial smiley. that may be a parody to coelho's quote but don't you think that's luck? a sign of hope from a randomly mundane existence. it may appear to be a major cornball, but hey, its all good, i know everyone felt nice about that noctural phenomenon.


=) --- like, how much hopeful should i get?