Drowning But Still Okay

Updates about my beautiful life.

InCoMpLeTe. Yeah. Sure. I am facing the possibility of acquiring the celebrated INC grade in Comm200 (thesis) this sem. Shit happens. Seems that we were too confident with our thesis that we were caught unaware that our topic is overwhelming enough to need the whole year to work on to. Seems like Superman/Pepeng Tisoy’s overrated superpowers can’t even save us from the pitfall that we call, INC. But its still fine, atleast me and my thesismates are still having the time of our lives, laughing the day away and eating out everyday. I mean, I wouldn’t have survived the hassles of thesis-making without Chiqui’s funny antics and Anne’s contagious laughs. They are the best things about Comm200. haha.


FrUsTrAtEd WrItEr. After two months of working in SunStar Baguio, well, I am proud to say that I haven’t published any story yet. Haha. Now who do we have here? A promising future journalist, indeed! Yeah, my works may have been real crappy that our EIC didn't find the nerve to include any of it in SunStar issues. But its still okay. I just have to admit it that I am not writer enough to have my works published. Reality bites. =(

Breaking news: after eons of trying hard to be a journalist, finally, by cosmic proportion, I was able to publish my first ever article.haha. Now, who’s feeling lucky? =)

Update: Now I've got four articles printed in the papaer. Life's good, sometimes. =)


BaNkRuPt. I’m broke. But I’m happy. I’m poor…. But I’m always kind. Haha. Alanis really defines the moment that I live in nowadays. It’s really funny but I have no idea where my money has gone. They just drifted apart… and got lost completely. Sure, this is what it pays to study away from home because you really have to work things out and budget the “scanty allowance” that you have. Well, atleast, way back high-school I was indifferent to budgeting money for tomorrow. Atleast in Tarlac, next week is always another story… that you always succeed in concocting alibis to gain money. Hahaha. Those were the days, talaga.


CoLd. Well, what can I say? I still hate the fucking rain… it’s been constantly raining here in Baguio for ten years already! Ahaha… and it’s been a fact that I am becoming more sinful during the rainy season… literally and figuratively. The melancholic atmosphere here in Baguio when it rains makes it more unbearable… My regular dose of caffeine intake increases… my clothes aren’t dry yet… and my heart, yes, my heart, is freezing cold…


FrIeNdLy FrIeNd. Well, I am enjoying the company of friends lately. And I know it’s safe to say that they are yet the best “things” at the moment to compliment my already “busy-busyhan”life in school. Chiqui and Anne and Jade are the best things about Comm200… Chiqui and Anne still makes it a point that life is still fun… That next week, we can still watch “You Are The One”. Harhar! (I am currently plotting ways to force Chiqui watch with us…=p) and, yeah, Fat and Josh are the best things about Journ109 (the subject that tormented our Friday nights..hehe). Plus, I have this new friend on the block that Chiqui told me to give "it" a try.. haha. Nothing really important and special... Its still healthy to be human, sometimes. Di ba?


VaUgHnE. I know these guys are really busy right now and may I just say that I really miss them. These guys are still, and will always be, one pf the best things about my life as a whole. They are the mere people who believe that “I am still a good egg even if I’m a little cracked.” Haha. And I just can’t wait for sembreak because these are few moments that we get to see each other, the five of us. Haha… Lumelevel na naman ang kadramahan ko. Erase. Erase. Erase. Hehehe.


SeE BiG pIc PrOdUcTiOnS presents: Ang Kapa Ni Pepeng Tisoy
Ito ang aming dialogue sa inaraw-araw na nagmi-meet kami!hehe…)

Chiqui and Anne: Please lang, Czarina ha! Elices, umayos ka!
Cza: Sabagay (pag wala nang ibang masabi…)
Chiqui: Cza, its fucking raining again!
Cza: Shit happens
Chiqui:most of the time
Chiqui: idaan na lang sa “ganda ko” ang thesis!
Cza: sino kaya ang katabi ko papuntang Manila? Mukhang pinagkakaisahan ako ng dalawang to ha!
Anne: pag natapos natin tong thesis, videoke tayo ha? Ahaha…
Cza: Huwag na… hiya kami sa boses mo, Chiqui!
Chiqui: kamusta na kayo ni dalawang dekada?
Cza: Ayun dalawang dekada pa rin… and still counting.. actually pinatay ko na siya!hehe
Anna: (dahil sa unavoidable circumstances, lagi akong nale-late) Cza, we don’t see you coming… we don’t see a green umbrella (worth 100php) approaching…
Kidlat Tahimik: don’t call me sir, im just a kid! (oo nga naman…kidlat nga naman..hehe)
Job: Good morning sir/ma’am… we are communication students from the University of the Philippines Baguio and we are currently doing a thesis on the boom of superheroes on television. We would like to ask if you’re available for interview? Uhm, hello? Hello? Tooot… (haha.. for the nth time)
Job: ayaw pa-interview ni Jun Cruz Reyes!
Cza: Naku, si Jay Taruc nalang ngarud! (haha..bigatin!)
Jade: sorry..sorry..sorry..sorry..ang dami ko na atraso sa inyo.. sori..sori…(hehe)
All of us: Wee! Incomplete. Incomplete. Incomplete. Ang yayabang kase ntin eh. Hahaha... =)

Raining On My Mind

"Fuck the Rain!”
“I hate the fucking rain na talaga!”
Haha… I could still remember sending these seriously funny messages to all of my friends during the height of the typhoon weeks here in Baguio. Those were the days when classes were suspended for days and I had nothing left to do than utter curses because of the things that I was unable to do and because of doing nothing else but bore myself with text messages and occasional naps under the gloomy, depressing, and misty sky.

I hate the rain. I hate it for bathing my pants. I hate the rain because my nose sneezes. I hate the rain because my migraine gets the better of me. I hate the rain because I slip around 10,000 times a day no matter what slippers I wear. I hate the rain because it freezes my feet and marinates it with the dripping dirt of the street– which primarily contains some flavorful human spits plus the overall slums of the present life. I hate it because classes are suspended. Its not that I am a good student or something, it’s just that when classes are suspended, you are pressured to rush things out after. I hate rushing and cramming for things that you were supposed to accomplish that easy. I hate the rain because I am stuck in the boardinghouse and I miss home. I hate the rain because it takes two decades to dry my clothes. I hate the rain because I eventually I eat and sleep a lot more. I hate the rain because I usually remember sad things. I hate the rain because it makes me feel nostalgic and forlorn and lost all at once. Yeah, no need to go further on that. By now, you must have a clear idea on how much “passionate” I am with the idea of raining.

I dunno, maybe I am just plain estranged to hate the rain. My childhood days retold about not only liking, but really loving the wet season. There’s even this vivid memory of me playing in the rain with my cousins and catching dirty fishes from the drainage canals, and literally stroking those fishes without even knowing how utterly dirty they were. And after bathing and plunging our bodies with grime and whatever bacteria it was to call it, we would patiently wait for the hot noodles that my auntie would cook for us. I could still remember playing “batbatan” and “langit lupa” with my elementary friends while bathing in the rain and ending up feeling sick the day after. Yeah. Those were the days.

But now, on my twentieth year of having to experience the season, my complete disgust of raining transcends angry words. Maybe there’s really nothing wrong with it, and I’m just a person alienated enough to blame the rain for the shits in my life. Maybe it’s just passing the guilt to something really irrational because I can’t blame myself for the bore-that-is-my-life. And maybe, just maybe, I’m only bitter about the romantic idea of having to share the season with somebody. Yeah, sappy movies and even TV ads bring us to this level of understanding that rains are supposed to be moments of kissing, cuddling, and making out. I even watched this cheesy advertisement about a guy who unintentionally pleased the girl of his dreams because it suddenly rained, having the girl blurt out “I love the rain!” Which, after all, led to a yet another knee-melting kissing. And even literature upholds the idea of how rains bring romance with people who deserve each other – on how Pilar, experienced a love lost and found by the River Piedra during the rainy season. Haha. Whatever. So, now we know what fiction and mediated reality are all about.

So, being the bitter girl that I am, I still see no good reason to find happiness with raining. Especially here in Baguio when raining means clear and present danger, when continuous rains eventually bring you the creeps because the next landslide could actually be at your place. Maybe my mean-world-syndrome is getting the better of me as of this moment for hating something but I can’t help it.

Besides, I know my hell days aren’t over. Because the rains still seem to enjoy defining the moment. So, I guess I must accept the distressing reality that there are still pants to be bathed, feet to be soaked and marinated with dirt, and sad memories to be remembered...