pagdadrama 101: hindi ka lang pala sa pag-ibig nabibigo. ahuhuhu. literal na pag-iyak ito. nakakatawa pero nakakaiyak. lalo na pag kailangan ka pang kantahan ng nanay mo sa telepono mo para lang pagaanin ang loob mo.kahit ang baduy ng kanta nakakaiyak pa rin. hay, ang buhay. dati problema ko lang kung paano mabili yung magazine na front cover ang the moffatts. haha, naalala ko tuloy. ang jologs, pero ang gaan. ngayon, problema mo na kung paano sumaya sa mga ginagawa mo at kung may napupuntahan ba ang mga pinagaga-gawa mo sa buhay. kailangan mag feeling matalino ka para maniwala ang mga tao na matalino ka nga. kailangan mong mag maganda para maloko ang mga tao sa totoo mong itsura. haha. at ang layo na ng mga sinasabi ko sa usapin ng pagkabigo. ang layo layo na.

para kay qevz.. tribute ito. haha

this is so funny. i was in the bus and was on my way back to manila yesterday when qevz and i started texting. we were supposed to meet up that night but things happened so we weren't able to meet. i dunno exactly why but there's this intrinsic factor that makes me feel oh so melodramatic whenever i'm inside a bus, wherever. i just cant help myself. especially yesterday when some things in my life were supposed to change. i cant provide any details about that yet, though.

so going back, we were really texting, and then i started to thank him for being the superfriend that he is, i started to thank him for being there, etc, etc.


cza: qevz, im just so nervous, literal. at kahit "pokerface" na ang tugtog sa ipod ko hindi pa rin ako kumakalma. haha. pero anyways, thank you ha, sa moral support. "i really cant live without qevz. that would be a cigarette without a light, and beach without the sun"

qevz: aww! ang sweet naman! natouch ako loko ka! natawa ako dun ah. i-try mong ipatugtog ang get your freak on (paborito nia nung highschool kahit dinedeny nia. haha) para magbago na ang mood mo. thanks cza. i super love you superfriend!

cza: oo that's so true. ito pa "life without qevz is like not knowing what high school means. its like perfecting an algebra exam... useless and geeky. (haha) "qevz is your summer. he's your favorite season.. your unnassuming bliss" at kamusta naman at ginawan naman na kita ng tula.

qevz: haha. adik ka cza. parang nakabatak ka ngayon ah. tawang tawa na ako dito!


what's funny about what happened is the fact that we aren't really the kind of friends who likes drama. so its way out of character for us whenever these moments happen. i remember in high school, we always found delight in mocking some of our classmates for being melodramatic. "eew! yan na naman ang mga nagiinarteng tabing ilog barkada." creck, utz, nitz, qevz, and i were way too indifferent in highschool to even bother to shed any tear about anything. our lives revolved around the routine of cutting classes and fooling around... we've had our versions of "roadtrip" "scary movie" and "catch me if you can" scenarios. we were the trying hard versions of a typical american high school movie that time. haha.

but whatever, it may be funny to write a poem for a friend, but its a spur of the moment scenario that's way too dormant to be forgotten. maybe this is just about paying tribute to the people you've been with since the day when you learned about square roots and sidney sheldon. since the day when you learned that one of the greatest joys in life is sneaking around during school hours. i miss those days. really. really.

and to this friend i've been with for ages now. let me just say, thank you...

(at para patawanin ka lalo, ito na ang matinong version ng tula na ginawa ko habang nasa bus at habang nakikining ng "pokerface")


"life without you is like a cigarette without a light
and beach without the sun
its like not being able to know what high school really means
like perfecting an algebra exam
useless and geeky
you are my summer
my favorite season
...my unassuming bliss."


thank you qevz. sa lahat ng panggagago mo sa buhay ko, sa panggugulo mo sa nananahimik kong kaluluwa. sa mga banat mo na pag ginawan ko ng script sa pelikula ay hindi kakayanin ng MTRCB due to explicit language. haha. salamat! sana wag kang magsawa sa pambabalahura mo, kasi pag tumigil ka, maiiyak na lang talaga ako. swearness!

... so many years, and yes, i think i'm still sober.

still plagued with the recurrent disease.
remains damned into a proverbial hell.
they say we can all overcome. but i say there's always an exception.

and this thing i've always had has always been the exception.
regardless of recent tries.
so strong, so irrational.
so effing real.