the year after...

i am currently on the process of reuniting with this fond habit i deliberately steered away from exactly one year ago... because of a variety of reasons that are already too obvious to mention. i am excited to write again but its true that my year long sabbatical from writing already took its toll on me... i am finding it hard to write again, not just lost for words, but also lacking of any emotion.

but within the next couple of days, i promise to bring back the old times... the times when blogging meant a routinary activity, the days when blogging was something that i couldnt stand without. i decided to write again because i cant just keep myself away from my one true love. i want to write again, but this time i resolve to the fact that i will become more positive and driven, which will be a direct contrast to what ive been before - the ever angsty writer plagued by mean-world syndrome. now, i want to make myself a happy writer, the writer who now fully understands that life isnt all about losing and hurting. beginning today, i will try hard to be the person who finds happiness in talking, from 12 am to 9 am (manila time), with snotty americans who cant get a life. this is going to be real hard, more so like a slap in the face, but enough to keep me awake and realize that this is how i make a living.

i am excited to recount the days and months that went by and i am really looking forward to the next couple of days when i can already write. i actually thought that i can forget about blogging, but i was dead wrong. even if i am on the verge of giving up my dream of becoming writer, i still cant afford to lose this little chance where i can be who i am and who i want to be. i want to resume the ownership of this blog that i took for granted for one year.

...one year spent on forgetting and moving forward.
...of working my asses at 3am
...of "midnight cups of coffee and morning bottles of beer"
...of being paid and paying taxes.
...plainly, one year of hitting the floor real hard and of finally taking a full grip of what reality is and will always be.

i have so much stuff to tell, as in full to the brim, but i dont even know when and how to begin. this is hardcore writer's block, but, whatever, neil gaiman even contested that there's no such thing as writer's block. so i wont make that lame excuse anymore.