im s0o broke

i hate it. its only the first week of september and i am already broke. as in really broke. i hate powerbooks, it snatched away a big part of what's supposed to last me until sept 15. the impulsive buyer got the better of me time and again and i bought 4 books without even thinking, maybe i thought twice for a while, but i bought the books anyway. actually i feel happy about the books that ive been meaning to buy for months now, but i just didnt really plan to buy them all at once, like there's no tomorrow..like there's no more paydays to come. haha.


anyway, here are the books that i bought:
1. hard boiled wonderland and the end of the world - haruki murakami
2. dogeaters - jessica hagedorn
3. the gathering - anne enright
4. the shack - william p. young


there you go. i feel happy but i also feel guilty for wasting money that supposed to be spent on necessary things, on the more important things in life, so they say. but, whatever, reading is my natural high, my one true love, and i am just trying to come to terms with the idea that what i did isnt wasting money at all... its about giving in to my pleasure without the slightest guilt. yeah, right, let me tell that to my mother who's constant reminder entails buying only the things that i really need, like buying clothes that i can use for work, like finally buying a brand new pair of shoes so my worn-out converse shoes will finally rest in peace, like buying multivitamins to keep up with my super unhealthy lifestyle... but i dont want to buy these things because they dont mean anything to me. im happy with just who i am. im happy wearing my favorite pair of jeans that's either overused or plain cheap. im happy walking with that converse shoes that's become more like greenish and yellowish than white. they define me, and i dont have a problem with that. so what if im not into fashion? i dont care. at all. really. hehe.

but yeah, that conviction doesnt really help my current economic condition. being happy with just the way i am, being nonchalant with what i wear doesnt change the fact that im broke, does it?

im broke, but im happy, so did alanis say. and i would need to wait until the next payday to compliment this current economic slump. so God help me. =)